But, I thought you were my friend...I thought you were my friend

i am with every stone i turn on this cobblestone path uncovering more and more errors
in the way i think and just how deep some of it runs

cognitive errors
errors in thinking with roots that have woven themselves into the fabric of my personality
my very self

it is so scary to see these things
face them
and know that they have been a part of me for all my history
it is a frightening thing
some many of the stones i turn over have
really ugly bugs beneath

"we didn't get to the top of the food chain sucking on sour grapes"

my thoughts on nazi-veganism

The local large issue about the seals invading the children's pool in La Jolla.

Our ancestors DID NOT set out to Manifest Destiny, shed all that sweat, those tears, their blood, and lives, to have their descendants be pushed around by some disgusting, obnoxious, stinking, butt-less sea pigs.

It is imbecilic to even consider such a non-issue.

People are natural creatures too.

Do we condemn the trees for pushing out the scrub brush?

People need to stop anthropomorphizing every gosh darn thing!

Meher cooh mi savvy misin yu tru bot naut in heer! no plees!?

What-in-the-world

What on Earth did she say?

I don't know

But it sounds like drunkeneez mixed with lolcat

She is so silly to use accents like a sock puppet

Cause what she says surely can't be coming from her

She isn't real

Preparing For Singularity

the great tube of reality spinning

Dr Xavier Amador

This is One of My Favorite Stories Too

"This is by far my favorite story of all those I have written.

After all, I undertook to tell several trillion years of human history in the space of a short story and I leave it to you as to how well I succeeded. I also undertook another task, but I won't tell you what that was lest l spoil the story for you.

It is a curious fact that innumerable readers have asked me if I wrote this story. They seem never to remember the title of the story or (for sure) the author, except for the vague thought it might be me. But, of course, they never forget the story itself especially the ending. The idea seems to drown out everything -- and I'm satisfied that it should." --Isaac Asimov

The Last Question by Isaac Asimov © 1956

The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way:

Alexander Adell and Bertram Lupov were two of the faithful attendants of Multivac. As well as any human beings could, they knew what lay behind the cold, clicking, flashing face -- miles and miles of face -- of that giant computer. They had at least a vague notion of the general plan of relays and circuits that had long since grown past the point where any single human could possibly have a firm grasp of the whole.

Multivac was self-adjusting and self-correcting. It had to be, for nothing human could adjust and correct it quickly enough or even adequately enough -- so Adell and Lupov attended the monstrous giant only lightly and superficially, yet as well as any men could. They fed it data, adjusted questions to its needs and translated the answers that were issued. Certainly they, and all others like them, were fully entitled to share In the glory that was Multivac's...(click here to continue reading)

Changing Vistas

I need to get back
stand away
step aside
reflect from a distance

cause being so enmeshed like
I am
is sufficient to blind me
to even the most obvious

The Primacy of Consciousness

So, Tell me? What are you good at?

There is this great place one minute away from my perch the way the crow flies. It is a park. A large expanse. Affording many treasures for summer tourists to seize. You can find lots of history, all sorts of museums, acre after acre of rolling emerald lawns. Reminder to self: *Post link here*.

Now then, it has its fair share of visitors year round...They are found often gathering around the many kinds and types of street performers.

What I'd like to do is set up a place on the grass, sit there reading or writing, somehow looking approachable.

You walk by.

Next to me you find a sign, You wonder cause you want to come and sit down...

The signs says... So tell me, What are YOU good at?

What would you say to that question?

I think it could be insightful because you are more likely to open up

to a stranger, a beautiful stranger to spark your imagination

I am awake and addressing the burrs that are festering in my brain

You know sometimes I wonder if I come across a bit touched as in odd or well weird or freaky and if so, to what degree

It is much like me to be unaware of the kind of impression I give to others

I really have no idea obviously, by some of the reactions I get

I see that many assume quite a bit and judge me accordingly

This is maybe something new I will be learning how to do

That and judging others reactions to me

I feel very strange

Like an alien

learning the earth ways,

I'm all ears and eyes...

Good Citizen Goody Moondrop

For my therapeutic assignment I am to leave my place of seclusion called home and go to the library.

At the library I am to interact with the librarian inquiring as to her services as a research assistant.

Instead my head is telling me to stay in bed and do nothing but sleep my life away.

Away from this self imposed treachery present in each one of my steps.

The temptation is strong to escape to dream land

Very strong, attractive, luring

And then so says the reasoning part of me

No... let's not do nothing, let's do something

Anything but nothing

So here I am blogging about nothing

With intent toward my greater good

Now off to my domestic responsibility...

Cool things occur to me as they perkle up from these mysterious places in the brain

Seemingly odd things can occur to people who are growers of their own smartness
I think about it in terms as what subconscious speaks in
It speaks in pictures, like dreams
This is a daydream this morning mood of mine
I tell my subconscious to deal with these things
Proper during sleep and stop interrupting me

The Impressionable Mind

The first time I heard the name "Jesus Christ"
was when my mom
used it as a swear word.
Seriously, Swear to God
I was about 10 y/o before I learned different.

The Mechanisms of the Mind

Patterns
Patterns
are the mind's paper
Metaphors
Metaphors
are the mind's ink
Intention
Intention
is the mind's publisher

What else would you think?

Something I'm really on the fence over...

I live in the furthest furthest furthest southwest corner of the continental United States. The way the crow flies, I'd be in Tijuana, Mexico (TJ) in ten aeronautical miles.

This proximity, being the case, there is an awful lot of debate over illegal immigration round here. It gets hot and heated and a lot of attention.

People are concerned. A lot of people are. And then there's me.

I'm so on the fence here.

I mean irrespective of the religious implications, I really do want to help the less fortunate and it is also in my natural nature to want to love my neighbor.

When I imagine it, I see what US economic engines could do to rally people together around the resources all over that land. The standard of living would rise across the board for a lot of people down there and all it basically would take is some direction and organization of some sort. I wonder what a group of western philanthropists could do if given a region for a test spot. I wonder.

I am for restrictions on the border absolutely, and the laws in place are effective when they can be enforced. It's just that if it were my job to tell a little Mexican girl she had to leave her classroom because she is on the wrong side of the border, it would wear on my heart something terrible.

(Oh what's a mother to do? I worry worry worry over you kids)...

And into my field of vision occurred

...
a tiny, almost imperceptible dot. As the dot came into sharper focus, it became wider as I watched

At a certain point it became so wide, this point of darkness

that I was within in it

Absorbed

Engulfed

I realized that this was a portal

I crossed into

And that little tiny

nearly imperceptible dot

is in my field of vision all the time

Techniques of Consciousness Change

From an interview called 'Robert Anton Wilson explains everything'. Download and sharing encouraged.

~*~*~*Music is a Mind Massage~*~*~*

Music is great because it portrays itself in endless countless imaginative ways

I think of the dark, thrash metal band Slayer and compare their sound with Glen Miller and his smooth, jazz orchestra

Then I think of all the points and possibilities in between

I then think about the best portrayal of music and I see that that portrayal hasn't been invented yet

seen yet heard yet

danced to driven to

or thought about
Watching the evolution of music is something to wonder over

Unraveling the Method to the Madness

Socks full of Foxtails...

over the course of many maps
i follow paths that lead me to those highly
sought after places

i trudge relentlessly with otherworldly effort
many methods of step take me to many worlds
and they are always worlds of great discovery

for my efforts, through the rough and treacherous tumble
i manage to unearth treasures

sometimes these treasures come in the form of crystallized sand
looking glass
glasses
a crystal ball
something to s e e through

this time what I saw through my glass
showered me
showed me
just how incredibly deluded I can be
I once was
and surely still am
in ways
i haven't seen yet...

A Joke I made...

Client: So you've been in the ad business for 5 years now. Do you expect a lot of future growth?

Ad Firm Exec: Yes, we do. Our forecast analyst has nothing but great things to say.

Client: I think I'll come back then.

Ad Firm Exec: Oh, And why's that, if I may ask?

Client: Well, as an Ad business I figure you ought to be *New!* & *Improved!* by then.

I'm right I'm always right and you're wrong wrong wrong

Come hear and let me tell you till you bleed it


The day I learned to drop the need to prove myself right

Was a great day

It was the day I earned a key

A key that spells out freedom

from such silly effort

I notice that I am a thousand, one steps ahead of it all now

Commonplace lost its utility

I have looked upon the rearview mirror long enough

Stepping Stone

It has been a lot of fun

The secret in my pocket beckons

Division is in My Cells

A Great Movie About Nuclear Doomsday British 1984 "Threads"

What The World Eats...

Ecuador: The Ayme family of Tingo

Food expenditure for one week: $31.55
Family recipe: Potato soup with cabbage






























Link To More Families Around The World

She Said Steel YourSelf

that it is good advice

but i tried to steel myself today when i really needed it and I couldn't do it...I wasn't able to save my self from diving head long

headlong

into

despair nation way

I have Concluded that the BlogNation is a Part of My Imagination

All of the bloggers and all their many complexities are characters in my PC Journal come to virtual life

All of you are participants in what is known as solipsism

As I am the only reality

I have created for my soul searching research a whole universe of endlessly diverse curriculum

So far, I have learned some great lessons

I am very excited about this grand opportunity

I look toward with much enthusiasm to squeezing out every last bit of goo

I can get from this realm via you

My great imagine-nation

And really It is blindly conspicuous that this is only the beginning

And the greatest, and what may be called the original sin of the human mind

is sloth, it's over-simplification. We want to think that there is only one cause for every given phenomenon, therefore there is only one cure--there is not! This is the trouble: no phenomenon on the human level, which is a level of immense complexity, can ever have a single cause-- we must always take at least a half a dozen conspiring factors into consideration . . .
-- Aldous Huxley, 1960

Outer Planetary Perspectives and Space Noises

For a full day after my last psychotherapy visit, I was very anxious and upset. Counselor and I talked about "Dr" and that stirred up the huge cauldron of emotions that I have left tied to him. I have come away from that therapy/client relationship with my Dear "Dr" with many unresolved expressions, feelings, emotions, thoughts, etc etc... Time has been good to me as far as distancing the heartbreak of our parting. But to stir it up, investigate it, study it like counselor and I did, brought so much of it back to me.

It has been a year more or less that I became aware, on those heavy levels that I was soon to be without him "Dr". The particular placement of the planet at this time of year does something to stir up my feeling towards him in that way too I see. The particular placement of the planet this time of year...that effect is very worthy of reflection. Places on Earthly planes of perspective are recollective of instances gone by, so it only serves to reason that the orbit of the earth, the specific places in its oblique circle, stir up memories and images much the same way...aaah "Dr"...I reflect upon you so much, you have to be a satellite of mine...

My Personality Hurts...

It bends, sways, and settles
harms, hurts, and meddles
lifts, drops, flies,
keeps me on an ever ready ride

Spiritual Emergencies...

"I'm very spacious about this kind of thing, because I've seen people spend time in catatonic stupors in mental hospitals as a result of drugs, and later they turn out to be more effective as human beings, more alive to the moment, than people that went through Harvard and came out summa cum laude. Even with my relatives, whose kids got doped and started to fall apart, and the parents put them in a treatment program, because they freaked because the kid wasn't going anywhere. And I understood the parents' fear, but when I looked at the parents' own lives, I thought, what is it they're trying to do? They're trying to justify their own lives., which has a completely dysfunctional mythology connected with it. And if the kid says, "I don't want to play the game", is that health or is it sickness? Are you asking them to be initiated into a pathological system?

Ram Dass